Surely it’s no secret by now that weather forecasters are in a kick-back contract with grocery stores, water companies, electric companies and some kind of underground collusion with school kids as well.  Here’s how it works: If the weather people need a little extra spending money, they just predict a good old-fashioned snow fall.  Works every time.  Course it doesn’t snow every time does it. Last Friday case in point. But you can bet your bottom dollar the stores will sell out of milk and bread by dark when snow is announced.  And it goes without saying the schools will close if more than five flakes of snow are spotted.

Well it’s happening again.  Forecast for Tuesday is snow all day long.  How much.  Well that’s a well guarded secret.  This time around it’s predicted about one to two inches will accumulate by dark Tuesday night.   Then the electric company/water company conspiracy kicks Tuesday night.  Yep, supposed to get down to 5 degrees by Wednesday morning. So what are we told to do?  Besides having to run the heat full bore all night long just to keep ice cycles from dangling from our runny nose, we’re told to run the water taps in the house to keep pipes from freezing.  Now this is a double dipping scenario for the electric company.  Not only does the water meter run all night – the water heater has to work overtime which helps to run up the electric bill.

So apparently we might get some significant snow Tuesday – or maybe just a dusting. Doesn’t make much difference – the prediction is made and that’s all that matters.  After you’ve shoveled all the snow off the sidewalk Tuesday evening (even if it isn’t much it’ll be good exercise to go through the motion), crank up the heat and turn the water on.  And do not be surprised when the water bill and electric bill comes in.  But when it does arrive – that’s another conspiracy all together – with the doctor’s office – getting ready for all those heart palpitation and panic attack cases coming through the door from just the sight of a $500.00 heating bill, $150.00 water bill, hunting up somebody to watch the kids while you’re at work (cause no matter what the weather – workers must go to work)  and no place to store 49 loaves of bread.  Stay warm and keep the sled close.  (Editors note:  No doubt there will be some who accuse this as being “fake news”.  Which is entirely possible – but we’re taking the fifth – or if it’s sub-zero out – buying a fifth.